


You And Me (Against The Stars)

by doctorenterprise



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Family Problems, Homophobia, M/M, like a one liner, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:46:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorenterprise/pseuds/doctorenterprise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim finally caves and takes Bones home to Iowa to meet his family. It's only fair, seeing as Jim's like an adopted McCoy son. Bones expects it to be wonderful. Jim expects to to be a train wreck. It's worse than both of the expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You And Me (Against The Stars)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twofacedjanus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twofacedjanus/gifts).



> Written after a discussion about Jim's family relationships with twofacedjanus after this post on tumblr: Imagine Bones wanting to go home to Iowa with Jim because he wants to meet the family that raised the love of his life and when Jim finally caves after two years of skirting questions, he arrives to find a brother who ignores Jim, a step-father who sneers at him like he’s scum on the bottom of his shoe, and a mother who’s eyes glance over him like he’s a face in a crowd. He just doesn’t understand how the flesh and blood of someone so vibrant and passionate could possibly be so cold and distant. Jim Kirk is the sun, he decides, and they are moons on the opposite side of a hunk of rock named Grief, too embedded in their sorrow and drink to soak in his warmth for longer than a moment every now and then. Sometimes Bones feels like a moon, too, but he knows he’s not. He’s a solar flare, a strike of heat that will only try to escape Jim Kirk’s light once. He’ll always come back. He could never leave.

"Jim, darlin’, I want to,” Bones chuckled, sliding his arms around Jim’s waist to hold their chests flush together. He brushed his lips across the dusting of freckles on Jim’s nose. “You’ve met my family. They all love you. You love them. It’s been two years, Jimmy. Don’t you think I should meet yours?”

Jim didn’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus intently on the shoulder seam of Bones’ ratty old pajama shirt. He picked at a loose thread quietly before laying his head down on Bones’ shoulder, facing away. He sighed.

"I just think you’ve got a picture of them in your head," Jim explained quietly. "And they’re not like that."

"You’ve told me lots about Sam and your mom," Bones reminded him. "I want to meet them. Just for a weekend, maybe? It’s just…well, we’ve been together a long time and…darlin’, there’s a certain way things are done, you know?"

"No," Jim said honestly, not catching on to Bones’ hint. Bones blushed and kissed his forehead affectionately.

"I’ve gotta ask them a question before I can ask you," Bones told him pointedly and Jim’s stomach did the most complicated flip in the history of butterflies. On one hand, he was pretty sure what Bones wanted to ask. On the other, introducing something as purely good as Bones to something as tarnished as his family made him feel like some sort of heathen. He couldn’t be responsible for the tainting of something so beautiful.

He couldn’t let his family tear him down.

"It’ll be fun," Bones wheedled, kissing a trail down the center of Jim’s chest as he lay him down on their bed. "I promise, darlin’. We can go to the casino and I’ll watch you let pretty girls blow on your dice before I take you home and blow your cock. We can make a day of Iowa City. We can make dinner for your mom and Sam. I’ll take you on a naked picnic in the cornfields…we’ll have fun, Jim."

"You really want to go?" Jim asked, catching Bones’ southbound face in his hands to look down at him seriously. "It’s really important to you, huh?"

"Yeah, kid," Bones smiled sheepishly, obviously a little embarrassed to be so adamant about a simple visit to Iowa. Jim shook his head and put all thoughts of his derelict family from his mind. A weekend in Iowa didn’t sound so bad, after all. He could show Bones his old stomping grounds and introduce him to Sal, the old man who’d bought him his first drink and guided him gruffly through the more violent stages of his youth.

Jim dusted his hands over Bones’ tanned, freckled shoulders and smiled down at him. Bones grinned back up, lips pressed firmly into Jim’s left hipbone.

"Okay," he told Bones. "Just a weekend."

-

 

Three weeks later, Bones boarded a shuttle eagerly for the first time in his life, Jim laughing at the triumphant spring in his step all the way.

They settled into their seats, Jim by the window and Bones by the aisle. Jim immediately turned sideways in his seat and tucked his leg up under him to face Bones, leaning against the window. Bones rolled his eyes and leaned over obediently to kiss him long and soft with plenty of tongue. When he pulled away, Jim smirked with satisfaction.

"Happy?" Bones asked him with a chuckle. Jim shook his head and tugged Bones sideways into his lap to kiss the top of his head with a loud smooching sound that drew raised eyebrows and hidden smirks from their surrounding passengers. "Jim, you idiot.”

Jim just grinned at him innocently as he wiped at his hair with a greatly exaggerated scowl.

"Did you bring everything I wrote down for you?" Bones asked him, pulling out his PADD and opening the checklist he’d written out for Jim, the notoriously forgetful packer. "Toothbrush? Pajamas? Socks? Underwear for three days? Five shirts because you always spill dinner? Did you remember to bring…you know…?"

"Lube?" Jim asked loudly as he enjoyed the brilliant cherry colour of Bones’ face. "Yeah, I brought lube. Packets for convenience of non-bedroom use and a bottle for our room."

"Did you bring the other things?"

"Condoms? Or toys?"

"Jim, for fuck’s sake!" Bones hissed as a woman stared at them with mildly scandalized and largely interested wide eyes. "I meant the clothes and shit!"

"Oh!" Jim said brightly. "Yes, I packed all of those things."

"Good," Bones huffed, crossing his arms over the carry on bag he’d brought aboard the shuttle. After a few minutes, he glanced a Jim and muttered out the side of his mouth, "But did you brings condoms and toys?”

"No," Jim chuckled, shoving Bones’ shoulder as the grumbling started. "We’re going to Iowa. Back home, we do things the old fashion way. You’re gonna fuck me with nothing but your cock and I’m gonna deal with the mess just like I did when I was a teenager. By holding it in."

“Christ,” Bones breathed, rolling his eyes. “You’ll be the death of me yet, Jim.”

Jim just grinned.

Three hours and a painless (for Jim, though Bones would argue that the whole thing was spent in tight-pants agony for him) shuttle ride later, they docked at the shipyard in Riverside.

Bones collected their bags from the checked luggage section of the shuttle and dragged Jim excitedly through the weapons detectors that were their final checkpoint before they were free of the shuttle bay. He Jim into his side with an arm around his waist, holding him close enough that their hips bumped awkwardly as they walked. Neither one of them cared, honestly. They’d be closer if they would still be able to walk.

"Can’t wait to meet them, Jim," Bones grinned as he tugged Jim along into the taxi that awaited them at the doors of the building. "God, I’ve never even seen them! You don’t put up photos! I bet you got those eyes from your mama. Can’t wait to thank her for you, darlin’."

Jim trailed along quietly, happily holding Bones’ hand but worrying himself into an early grave about the meeting that would surely go more along the lines of his expectations than it would along Bones’. Bones was expecting a bright, sweet mother and a rowdy, laughing brother. He wasn’t expecting what Jim knew awaited them at his childhood home.

The ride to his house was short, just a few minutes. They passed fields and fields of corn, much to Bones’ amusement. He teased Jim about being a corn man, all yellow and sweet and topped with wild hair. Jim rolled his eyes and kissed him quiet while the taxi driver chuckled in the front seat.

When they arrived, they unloaded their bags into the long, gravel driveway and paid the driver for his trouble. Jim turned to Bones and saw him standing in the driveway, hands on his hips as he took in the sight of the Kirk family homestead. It was old, 20th century old, and had few of the modern upgrades that were popular on farms these days. The house was large and white, with forest green shutters at the sides of the windows and a huge, dark wood door. A porch ran the length of the house, painted white and chipping with age.

"It’s beautiful, Jim," Bones breathed, taking in the scent of wide open country air. Jim did the same, admitting reluctantly that he had missed the open spaces of Iowa as much as he was sure Bones missed the heat and peach trees of Georgia. His childhood may have been littered with fear and loneliness, but there was nothing quite like coming back to the place you knew best.

Bones had mentioned that his family farm had felt foreign when he’d gone back home the first time, but Jim didn’t feel that way. Everything about this place felt just a familiar as if he’d been there yesterday.

"Ready to go in?" Bones asked him, collecting their shared suitcase and tossing Jim the overnight back full of toiletries, lube, and the various necessary communication technology. Jim frowned and nodded, taking off up the driveway after his best friend.

When they reached the door, Jim placed his hand on the doorknob and hesitated a moment before turning back to Bones. He took a deep breath.

"Bones," he said uncomfortably. "Just…be prepared, okay?"

"For what?"

"You’ll see."

With that, he opened the door and stepped inside. Immediately, he was greeted with the too-familiar scent of stale cigars and cheap rye. The same enormous crucifix hung on the wall opposite the front door that had been there since he could remember. The same coat rack and the same yellowed cream walls surrounded him. It was exactly as he’d left it.

A moment later, he wished he’d never come back.

"Winona! That no good son of yours is back!"

Bones jumped beside him at the loud shout from the next room and Jim grimaced. Frank, apparently, had not drank himself to death yet. Pity.

"Who’s that?" Bones whispered as footsteps moved across the creaking old hardwood floors towards them. Jim sighed.

"Frank," he muttered. "My mom’s husband."

"I didn’t know you had a step-dad," Bones hissed, clearly unhappy about arriving without this information.

"I wish I didn’t know, either."

His mother came around the corner and greeted him with a smile that reached only as far as her lips. She reached her arms up and he bent down to hug her dutifully, completely aware that this was all a little show for the new guest she had. His mother hadn’t hugged him willingly since he was five years old.

"Hi, mom," he said awkwardly, stepping reluctantly aside so she could access Bones. "This is Bones - um, Leonard McCoy. My boyfriend. Bones, this is my mom, Winona Kirk."

"Call me Winona, Leonard," his mom cooed, shaking Bones’ hand with politeness so fake it left a bad taste in Jim’s mouth. Heavy footfalls indicated that Frank would soon be joining them and, sure enough, all 6’4’ 260 pounds of him came around the corner as Bones shook hands with Winona.

"Still a faggot, then," he barked at Jim with a sneer of disgust. Jim flinched into Bones’ side and scowled at his step-father, no longer too small or too scared to fight back.

"Yep," he snarled back sharply. "Still a drunk and an asshole?"

"Jim!" Winona snapped at him. "Don’t talk to your step-father that way. And especially not in front of our guest."

"It’s Bones," Jim said quietly. "And he’s better to me than either of you."

"Jim," Bones caught his attention quietly. "How about we go inside. Have a coffee."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Winona agreed, frowning coldly at Jim as she turned to head back into the kitchen. If you boys want to take your things upstairs, the guest room is ready. And I put clean sheets at the end of your bed, Jim."

"Thanks," Jim called after her without gratitude. "Come on, Bones. Let’s get you settled in."

Bones followed him up the stairs to their right, not saying a word. He stopped in front of his room and hesitated before remembering Frank’s comment downstairs and continuing on to the spare bedroom. He could sleep alone for the weekend. It was only a few night, after all. He’d be back in Bones’ arms by Monday night.

The spare room was furnished with a twin bed, a small dresser, and a desk with a chair. There were a few paintings hanging, mostly of winter farm scenes. An antique ceiling fan spun lazily through the air above their heads.

"Nice room," Bones smiled at him, setting down their suitcase inside the door. Jim smiled back weakly. "Where’s all your stuff, though? Toys,  trophies…you know, kid stuff?"

"This isn’t my room," Jim told him. "It’s the spare room. Mine’s down the hall."

"Oh," Bones said, clearly surprised. "What’s wrong with yours?"

"Nothing. Just…with Frank, you know? It’s probably best if you stay in here."

Bones frowned and Jim leaned forward to press a soft kiss against his lips. Bones’ hands pulled him in closer, pressing their chests together so Jim felt all the warmth and solid safeness that was Leonard McCoy. They could get through this weekend together.

"I love you so much," Jim breathed against his lips. "So much. You know that, right?"

"Course I do," Bones chuckled. He kissed Jim’s cheek gently. "I love you."

They wandered downstairs for dinner, which Bones offered to help with and was told it wasn’t necessary. They ate mostly in silence, Frank clearly having been told to hold his tongue through dinner and Winona having nothing in particular to say to her son.

A few awkward attempts at conversation were made by Bones and Jim admired his valiant effort, but it was all for naught. He managed to convey that he was a doctor and ask what Winona and Frank did for a living. Winona did research for the earth-based branch of Starfleet’s xenosciences department. Frank was unemployed.

When they’d all finished their dinner, Jim sat in his chair and soaked in the flaming embarrassment at having exposed Bones to this part of his life. He was perfectly happy to never return here, but Bones had wanted it so badly…well. Now they both knew. Now they didn’t have to come back.

"I, um…" Jim cleared his throat in the silence. Bones reached under the table and gripped his hand. "I think I’ll head to bed now, if you don’t mind."

"It’s 8 o’clock," Frank stated with a sneer that indicated exactly what he thought about Jim and Bones heading to bed early. Jim flushed.

"It was a long trip," Jim said quietly. "Thanks for dinner, mom."

Winona didn’t answer as she focused idly on her PADD. Jim cleared his throat and she looked up, mildly surprised that he was trying to communicate with her.

"Did you say something?"

"Yeah, um. Thanks for dinner. Bones and I are heading upstairs now."

"Oh, yes, okay. Goodnight, Jim. Leonard."

She turned back to her PADD and Jim pulled Bones out of the dining room by the hand, heading straight upstairs to the bedrooms and dropping Bones off at his door.

He pressed a kiss to Bones’ lips and turned on his heel, slipping into his own bedroom without a word and before Bones could stop him.

He couldn’t face Bones right now.

-

Bones lay on his back in the middle of the spare room twin bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark as he ran through the events of the day.

When he’d asked Jim when he’d get to meet his family the first time, Jim had skirted the question with cleverly placed lips. The second time, he’d shouldered the request that they go to Iowa for Christmas by stating that his mother would be out of town and Sam was off-planet. The third time, he’d simply said that he wasn’t sure they were ready for that. He’d thought at the time that Jim didn’t want to take him home. Now he realized that Jim didn’t want him to see what was there.

The way Winona looked at Jim was the way a rockstar looked at a fan. Fully aware of the fact that he loved her deeply and frantically, but uninterested in remembering his face. He was a face in the crowd to her and the idea of Jim being anything but the big, bright sun in the summer sky to his mother was completely foreign to Bones.

His own mother doted on him like he was still five years old, sweet and chubby and unable to even tie his shoes. She pinched his cheeks and kissed his head and commed him every Sunday to make sure he was eating right and looking out for that sweet boy he’d better marry one day. He’d done a lot in his life that might warrant his mother turning her back on him. Jim had done nothing at all to his mother, yet she still looked at him like he was a guest in his own home.

And Frank. He hadn’t even known Frank was in the picture at all. Yet, there was a large, angry man who looked down on Jim for who he was hulking in the background of every image Bones had of Jim’s childhood now. He wasn’t entirely sure he shouldn’t be in the foreground, to be entirely honest. The way Jim seemed to flex forcefully against everything Frank did or said was such an obvious indicator that Frank had had a hand in the majority of Jim’s childhood and teenage pain.

He wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the scars covering Jim’s body weren’t entirely earned in drunken bar fights.

It made his blood simmer, waiting for a flash of heat to send his anger spilling over into pure rage. He was sure he’d find that heat before the weekend was over.

The room felt suddenly too small to contain him and Jim felt too far away. He stood up from the narrow bed and darted out the door and down the hall to Jim’s room. He didn’t bother knocking. Jim was undoubtedly asleep, passed out cold like he always was after a long shuttle ride. He slipped inside quietly and felt around for the bed, locating Jim’s hip to determine which side he’d be sliding into.

He climbed carefully under the covers and pressed up fully against Jim’s cool back, wrapping an arm around Jim’s waist and pressing his palm flat against a familiar chest. Jim was shaking.

"Jim, darlin’," he whispered anxiously, tugging Jim onto his back and leaning in close to see what was wrong. "Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Are you alright?"

"Bones," Jim’s voice cracked wetly and Bones knew he was on the edge of tears. Christ. “Bones, I’m so sorry.”

"What? For what?"

"You were so excited," he whispered, rolling into Bones’ chest and clinging onto him tightly. "So excited to meet them. And I let you down. I’m sorry."

"Jim," he croaked around the tears wetting his own eyes. "No, darlin’, no. You did not let me down at all. How could you? You are everything.”

"I wanted it to be like you thought it would be," Jim admitted as the tears broke through and he pressed wet eyes against Bones’ t-shirt. Bones clutched him tighter, pressing a continuous kiss into the side of his head. "Like it is at your place. With your mom and your sisters and your grandparents. They’re all so amazing, Bones. They love you so much. It makes me so happy to see you there. I wanted that for your here. But they don’t love me, Bones, I’m sorry."

"It’s alright, darlin’," Bones murmured into Jim’s hair. "You have nothing to apologize for. If anyone’s let someone down, it’s them, Jim. They should be there for you. They should love you so much. They’ve let you down more than they’ll ever know. But none of that matter’s Jim. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you and me? There’s nothin’ more important than that to me. You and me against the stars, right? We’re gonna get married and have a truly unfortunate number of children and get old in rocking chairs on the Enterprise, alright? Because that’s it for me. There’s nothing in this world I want more than growing old right beside you, watching our kids wreak havoc on Spock’s patience."

"We can’t have kids on a starship, Bones."

"God knows you’ll find a way," Bones chuckled, rubbing his hands up and down Jim’s sobbing-hot back. "I love you so much, Jim, and there’s nothing anyone can change about it."

"I love you, too, Bones."

They lay in silence for a long while, Bones rubbing the hot stickiness of tearful sweat on Jim’s skin off of him with gentle strokes and Jim quieting his hiccoughs in the darkness. Jim burrowed into Bones’ arms and sighed contentedly at the familiar comfort of that embrace in a place he’d never had any comfort before.

"You said we were gonna get married," he observed into the darkness. "Didn’t hear you ask."

"Wasn’t aware it was necessary," Bones smiled as Jim kissed along the collar of his t-shirt and onto his neck. "I will if you’d like it."

"It’s not," Jim agreed. "We were always destined for that, huh?"

"Yeah, darlin’. ‘Cause it’s you and me, right?"

"Against the stars," Jim whispered softly. He kissed Bones with all the emotion he could muster, pouring his soul into him with a kiss. "Yeah. You and me."


End file.
